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Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there.

First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves."Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but the men nodded in understanding, and a few actually smirked.

Note: I have no idea where these items originated, with the exceptions noted.

If one of them came from your fertile mind or hapless life, then let me know and I'll say that you claimed credit for it.

Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves.

What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?

I mean, all of his sexual needs are completely met by you, right? And all of his emotional needs are met by you, so it can’t be that he enjoys the ego boost of feeling desired by a woman…

My point in all this is that if you believe that you’re meeting all his needs, you will be blind to areas where the relationship needs to grow.

“My wife says….” Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?

After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.

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